Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I must always remember...

...that I'm not alone.

I knew my best friend was travelling to Japan for a few months. While we weren't really able to see each other or contact each other much before he left, I figured, "I'll see him when he comes back in the summer".

Yesterday, I saw he had announced that he was "moving" to Japan. Surprised, I asked him if he was coming back.

This morning, I checked my email, and I saw I had gotten something from him.

Oh sure, he's coming back. Eventually. Maybe not till September. Because he's only coming back for college. It's not really "coming home".

September. The month after I leave the state and start college in California.

What do you do when you don't know if you'll ever see your best friend again? What do you do when he left you and all of his other friends with little more than a "Goodbye, America, ily"?

This morning, I chose to cry. Really, what else can you do when you just woke up and the world as you know it has moved away?

I'm sounding a bit melodramatic. I should probably explain what this guy means to me.

We've known each other since eighth grade. He was there when my friend was suicidal and I couldn't handle the strain of giving him hope. He was there when I was trying to understand and come to terms with myself. We took pictures together, laughed together, loved together, and for a few brief minutes, shared a stage together. He came to as many of my shows as he could, and I to his. He was the first openly gay kid I'd ever met and befriended, and it was because of him that I learned to be as understanding and accepting as I am. He was one of the first boys to tell me that I'm beautiful.

All of this jumbled together in my mind; one of the most important people to me in my life has just up and left and didn't stop to really say goodbye. And I don't know when I'll ever see him, hug him, kiss him again.

I fear the future. And I cry.

I miss you. I'll always love you.


  1. It's so hard when that happens. Some people are just able to up and fly like that. I'm not, so it was a shocker when my gay bff moved off to college, just like that - BOOM. He didn't move to Japan tho.

    Cry, hug your pillow, hard, but also know I get it, so you're not alone. *Hugs*

  2. Thanks, hun. There's a chance I might have misunderstood, but I'll have to wait a while to find out.

    *receives hug*

  3. sadly people moving and going on their own journey is apart of life. with today's tech it is easier to keep in touch, and if you have a great connection and desire it is not that hard. I know it sounds like I'm blowing this off, but I grew up moving around the world with my father in the military and now my DH. It sounds like his friendship has made you a better/kinder/more accepting person and that is a great gift. Also having friends in far flung places makes for interesting vacations when you get older!