Proto, Pardon, and Positivity

"For there is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." -Hamlet

"Jam temp' esta'! [The time has come!]" -L.L. Zamenhof (from a proto-Esperanto hymn)

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return!" -Christian, Moulin Rouge!

Well, I have two options. I could hang my head in shame at being a terrible blogger, OR I could forge ahead in a surge of positivity.

I don't know about you, but I like some positivity.

So, quick update about my life in the last six and a half months:

-I officially committed to attending Chapman University

-I had a significant other, and (albeit briefly) got to experience romantic attraction from another for the first time

-I took IB exams and died a thousand deaths

-I finished my fourth and final year of formal French education

-I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL

Really, it was dealing with these things that kept me from both studying Esperanto and blogging, so... [commence guilt trip] ...... [guilt trip over]

Moving on.

So, have you spent the summer catching up?

Yes. Sort of.

I've been working on two plays about an hour from where I live since before I graduated, and even when school was over, my entire afternoon and evening till 10 PM was dominated by The Pajama Game (still is, actually) and Hamlet (just finished on Saturday).

BUT BUT BUT.

Last year, on my first "I'm learning Esperanto" kick, I watched a video by Swiss psychologist and prominent Esperantist Claude Piron, in which he asserted that a person could devote a mere ten minutes a day to the study of Esperanto, and be conversationally fluent in a matter of three months.

I've read some of Piron's articles on his website, in both English and French, and I did not see a hint of kookiness in him, so I think it's safe to trust him on this one.

The task seems much less daunting when it's only ten minutes a day. There's so much flexibility within that. It could be ten minutes reading posts on the forums (Esperanto, not English). Ten minutes of Esperanto Hangman. Another lesson in the "Ana Pana" correspondence course for beginners. There are days when I retain more or less than others, but overall it's a pretty easy schedule to keep.

You've made progress?

YES. It's a challenge (starting out again, I found the reverse of the issue I was having at the beginning of the school year; I knew the French word and thought that that would be similar to if not identical to the Esperanto), but I'm doing it. I'm almost done with the Ana Pana course, and even though I still apologize for errors constantly, I've lost my fear of posting in the Esperanto forums. The people are very understanding and helpful; a Frenchman even sent me a private message to politely correct the French on my profile and told me that he would be available in case I needed any more help with either French or Esperanto.

I'm grateful that I've found a community of infinitely patient people, who know that it's hard to learn a language, but are so excited that you're learning that they'll help you or forgive you for your mistakes. It's lovely to be in such a non-judgmental place.

And with that, dear readers, I must conclude. My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile the-

Whoops, sorry. Too much Hamlet.

What I mean is, I'm sleepy, and I still need to get my studies in for the night.

If you're interested, here's the Claude Piron video:

Ĝis la revido, amikoj!

And here we are

The January Blog Challenge comes to an end tonight. It's been quite a ride!

January's been really eventful, and I anticipate the rest of my senior year will be just as crazy as this month. I got cast in a play, two dear friends became a couple, my best friend moved around the world, and I've been making new discoveries about myself.

Hopefully I'll be able to get back to the *cough* actual point of the blog soon. But life is just getting wilder, so we'll see what happens.

Thank you so much to everyone who's been dealing with my daily randomness. You're all amazing people.

Certainty

It's a beautiful thing.

Grrr. Curse my lazy butt. Also, theatre!

Yeah, I forgot to update yesterday, but the blogging challenge is almost over. *sob?*

It's been a very interesting experience, trying to think of something to write about every day. I think readers here got to know me better this month than in all the others I've blogged.

Yesterday was a lovely day. I was CAST in the children's show (yay!) as the "saucy bartender". Hey, it's a western, you gotta have the girl running the town saloon. I'm so excited to be back in theatre. I haven't auditioned since June, and I really missed it.

Theatre is something I've loved since my first school play in eighth grade. I played Ethel Toffelmier, a small speaking role, in The Music Man. I got hooked, and nearly four years later, I'm still here, on the stage, making people laugh, cry, and (hopefully) think. I've been a talking bear, a dying old woman, a housekeeper, aaaand now a bartender.

I love theatre. All of it. I've met several kids who are pretty much theatre princesses- it seems that to them, theatre is about looking pretty on stage and getting attention. They may have actual talent, but I'm skeptical that they'd actually be willing to scratch up their arms cutting chicken wire, or spend hours bent over a set piece, painting every inch of it, getting your hands and face covered in green or black. But for me, that's part of the fun. It ties me to the production more than simply standing in a spotlight and speaking someone else's words. I've worked in the prop department of a local professional theatre for one of their shows, did running crew for the same show, helped to write another... I just like breathing the air. It's my hope that I can continue to act and work in theatre for the rest of my life.

I'm really looking forward to this play. I'll get to do what I love, and teach my younger friends some new skills, sharing my love with them. I can't wait.

Bragging moment: The seemingly random photo above is a tea tray I painted for a production of The Secret Garden. Yes, painted. It started out white. I turned it into that. This is still one of the most awesome things I've done in theatre.

Edit: Remember my friend who moved to Japan? I heard from him, and he explained everything. We still aren't sure when we'll see each other again, but we're staying in contact and he's going to try and visit. He's been hired at a modelling agency, so I may or may not post photos here of him from jobs, if he and the photographer don't mind. :)

Quick Post

Day Two of auditions! Awesome!

GSA! More awesome!

Overwhelmed by my friends' gayness! Ultimate awesome!

Goodnight, all. <3

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"Are you saying that you used to be a woman?"

Had a better day today. The one major bummer was that the guy I asked to Tolo isn't able to go. Luckily, he would have loved to if he could, but he has a really legitimate reason not to go (his brother's got his Eagle Scout Court of Honor). Ah, well. Time to ask teh gayz! Or an Anti-Tolo. That way I can be with my friends who hate dances.

But that was pretty much overshadowed by a lovely happy known as THEATRE.

Yep, now that my drama teacher is back after several months of dealing with a ruptured L-4 in his back, we started having auditions for the annual children's show at my school! Every year, Mr. Henderson (my teacher) chooses two or three seniors to write a one-act play geared towards kids, and it's performed not only in the evenings, but during the day as well, and the elementary schools come and see the productions while the students in the show get to skip school all day.

I've never had the chance to be in it before, so this year, I'm giving it all I have to get in. :)

I'd forgotten just how much fun auditioning with your friends really is (I haven't tried out for a play since June). Today was the first day, and everyone let loose, cheered people on, and had a great time. I can tell that this is going to be an excellent show. It's hilarious.

Here's hoping I get in! *crosses fingers*

I missed theatre.

I must always remember...

...that I'm not alone.

I knew my best friend was travelling to Japan for a few months. While we weren't really able to see each other or contact each other much before he left, I figured, "I'll see him when he comes back in the summer".

Yesterday, I saw he had announced that he was "moving" to Japan. Surprised, I asked him if he was coming back.

This morning, I checked my email, and I saw I had gotten something from him.

Oh sure, he's coming back. Eventually. Maybe not till September. Because he's only coming back for college. It's not really "coming home".

September. The month after I leave the state and start college in California.

What do you do when you don't know if you'll ever see your best friend again? What do you do when he left you and all of his other friends with little more than a "Goodbye, America, ily"?

This morning, I chose to cry. Really, what else can you do when you just woke up and the world as you know it has moved away?

I'm sounding a bit melodramatic. I should probably explain what this guy means to me.

We've known each other since eighth grade. He was there when my friend was suicidal and I couldn't handle the strain of giving him hope. He was there when I was trying to understand and come to terms with myself. We took pictures together, laughed together, loved together, and for a few brief minutes, shared a stage together. He came to as many of my shows as he could, and I to his. He was the first openly gay kid I'd ever met and befriended, and it was because of him that I learned to be as understanding and accepting as I am. He was one of the first boys to tell me that I'm beautiful.

All of this jumbled together in my mind; one of the most important people to me in my life has just up and left and didn't stop to really say goodbye. And I don't know when I'll ever see him, hug him, kiss him again.

I fear the future. And I cry.

I miss you. I'll always love you.